There was a princess who did not eat
Her artichokes from her plate, she did cheat
She fed them to the dog and soon
Her father, the King, forced her with a spoon
To eat one artichoke each afternoon
“They are healthy for you,” he said, “you must know,
I care for you, and so
If I didn’t care, if I didn’t share
It just wouldn’t be fair.
I know what’s best for you
Artichokes are healthy too
Every King before me
Has loved artichokes, you see
Ate them off their plate happily
And lived until they were one hundred and three
They help you grow up too.”
”I don’t want to grow up,” she said,
“And be like you!”
She stormed off to her room
And not another bite did she consume.
At night she decided to run away
Out the window on rope and did say,
“I will never stay here another day!”
She ran into the forest to hide
Not knowing where to go and deep inside
She felt angry but now she was scared
The sounds of owls she feared
And then she thought she heard a wolf howl
But it was the stomach of a troll that did growl
She saw the troll sitting near a fireplace
He was taller than all the trees she could trace
And the troll was finishing up the leg of a horse,
Of course,
And as he bit
It made the princess want to vomit
Then the troll heard the sound of a stomach growl
He sniffed around for something foul
It gave out a quick burp

But he knew that sound was not a bird chirp
For it was night and owls did not sing
At least he never heard of such a thing
And then from out behind a tree
He saw a girl with a crown watching silently
“What do you think you are doing here at night?
Shouldn’t you be asleep in your comfy castle?”
He roared with might.
His fangs were sharp as crescent moons
And she trembled with fright.
“You look too delicious to let go,
Come with me, I’ll roll you into dough
And make you into a nice pie
Or maybe a new recipe I will try
Maybe a soup, or no, a cake
Little cookies with your eyes I will bake
Or maybe your hand to make lady fingers too,
I am quite the cook, it’s true
I’ve spent my life hiding from your kind
All my relatives have been killed,”
And his teeth did grind.
“But you, I could use you for a soufflé
Or do you prefer to be baked into a pie?
What do you say?”
The girl screamed but the troll let out a fart
You see, he was quite smart.
It knocked out the princess to sleep
And he carried her to his secret castle
Where the willows did weep
The crimson castle was huge and his head
Fit in all the rooms, and his bed
Was enough for twenty humans or more
You’d be glad not to hear him snore
And what’s more, his toilet, well
If you fell
You’d fit inside
and fall in from
that monstrous smell

The troll was the last of his kind
He was alone, but he did not mind
He did not have to share his food
He thought sharing was quite rude
He was quite good at cooking too
His favorite ingredient were Kings, it’s true
And the girl awoke from her bed
And the Troll with his apron said,
“Well the cauldron is ready and hot
Now step into my pot!”
But the girl ran around the giant kitchen fast
Between the Troll’s long legs she ran past
But he caught her from her foot and down fell her crown
And she was hanging in his giant hand upside down
When she was about to drop
Something fell out of her pockets and he did stop
Lots of green little balls like marbles fell
And the Troll took one smell,
“What are these?” he said, “I’ve never seen these before.”
“They are vegetables,” she replied, “which I abhor.”
“But the smell,” he said, “I adore.”
“I’ve never heard of this one before.
None of my recipe books have this human green
It’s the strangest thing I have ever seen.”
“That’s what I told my father,” she said.
“He told me to eat them, I told him I’d rather be dead.”
”Well, you can’t die on an empty stomach,”
I’ll fix you up something nice and quick.”
She closed her eyes in fright
Thinking he would take a bite
Out of her arms, she hoped just her right
She needed her left to fly her kite
But then the Troll took the artichokes in his pot
And made a quick soup nice and hot
Added spices, maybe a few mices
Seasoned with peppers cut into dices

And the Troll forced her to take a spoon
And she tasted it and soon,
“Well, what do you think?” he asked in hope.
She wanted to say “Nope.”
She wanted to say it tasted like soap.
She wanted to spit it out like rope
But she loved the soup
So much so, she gave a giant burp and said,
“Can I have another scoop?”
She finished an entire plate.
It was the best thing she ever ate.
She gave a big burp and said, “Excuse me.”
The Troll replied, “don’t say that,
Manners are not my cup of tea.
So you liked it, huh?
She nodded, “Well, duh!”
The smart princess almost was dead,
But then an idea popped into her head,
“I know where there are more artichokes,” she said.
“If you free me and return me home,
I know fields of them where you can roam
And have a huge field just for yourself
Enough to fill every shelf
Follow me and I will take you there.”
“But if you’re lying,” the troll said,
“you’re dead!”
So the Troll followed the princess through the forest as the sun rose
And towards the castle she goes.
A guard at the castle gate saw her there
Alerted her father who did quickly appear
“You are alive, my darling! How I did fear!
Your mother and I did not dare

To think you might have been dead!
Then he looked up with dread
At a Troll’s giant head.
It touched the clouds above
His skull hit down a passing dove.
“Stay still, sweetheart!” he said,
“there is a troll behind you,
Get behind me and I’ll knock it dead!”
The sensitive Troll did roar
The Earth did shake to the core.
“No father!” she said, “he is my friend.
He will cause no harm if you give him artichokes
As many as he wants.” So the King gathered his folks.
He gave up all he had, and every person in the kingdom
Had offered one artichoke and did come
To give it to the Troll who let the princess free
The King, his wife and daughter sat at the table dinner that night,
“That Troll must have had you shivering with fright,
He is not easy on the eyes,
But for freeing you, he is quite wise.
But my dear, why does that beast want every artichoke?
Doesn’t he prefer flesh, that beastly bloke?”
The princess looked at her bland plate and said,
“I don’t want anything to eat. I want artichokes, not this chicken meat!”
“Aren’t you hungry after trolling around?
You know that we have given away every artichoke
That has grown from the ground.”
But why on earth do you want artichokes now?
You hated them, but now you want them? How?”
“I had been hiding artichokes in my pockets dad,”
But the Troll found them, and he was quite glad,
He made them into a soup
I ate scoop after scoop
I couldn’t get enough of that green gloop,
I liked the way he made it so well

It was like a magic potion, and the smell
Whatever he did, I liked it so much,” she did say
I prefer it over cake any day.
Just then the earth began to shake
And his guards did alert the King who did take
A look out his window and did see
The Troll offering small plates of artichoke soup for three,
And the King took a taste,
Not a drop went to waste
His wife did digest,
“Best thing I’ve ever eaten,” she confessed.
The princess drank it in one gulp,
She appreciated the artichoke pulp.”
She wished for more
And every night at her castle door,
The Troll brought a hot plate
And together they ate.
“If I ever die,” she said, “I want to die choking on an artichoke.”
“Your dad is not all mean,” said the troll, “his father was quite tasty.”
And her eyes did roll
“What other ingredients do you put in it?” asked the King.
“Artichokes, tomatoes, peppers I dice, and a couple mice.”
“Mice?” he said as he fainted that night.
“I never liked them anyway,” said the princess.
And she had burping competitions with the troll,
what a monstrous sight.
The King looked at them having such fun,
“My god, I hope she doesn’t marry one!”

© 2026. Austin Art Productions Inc. All Rights Reserved.